A: The Loch Ness Monster. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. The Answer: They found no brain activity. A: Shake and bake. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory ANSWER: Gatorade. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. A: Old wives tale. Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. The Answer: Become a professional politician. Curses, Curses, Curses . The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. by ThomasFay. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American A: Fun with Dick and Jane. [1] knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? The Question: Name three famous puppets. A: Kaiser wrap. A: Putting on the dog. . A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? A: Pipe dream. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: David Frost. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. A: "The Front." Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. A: "Rose Bowl." A: Around the world in 80 days. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. A: Beethoven's Fifth. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." . mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . A: 2001. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. car industry. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." A: The big ten. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by on a country? The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. juice? The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. A: "Yes man." Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? this year? puppies and red-eye gravy. ", "Sis boom bah." Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? (Wait for it! Next. A: "Oh God!" The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? "You Light Up My Life.". BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. A: Damnation Alley. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? A: WKRP In Cincinnati. A: Flyswatter. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. A: The ZIP Code. A: Evon Guligan. 99 $28.11 $28.11. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: O'Hare. Q: Where is the American dollar headed? The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: Gunga din. Wheres the exit sign? ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. violence? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . A: "Here's Boomer." After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. KeyCastr. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A: Unleash. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Can't decide? ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz.