Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. Boyfriend kissed another guy at a gay bar with me for my fantasy, i As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. | He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Is Kissing Someone When Drunk Cheating? | Relationship Talk Keep it to yourself. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. Lol Personally I don't believe in marriage. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. There's a difference between sex and kissing. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is: Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. She had gone to bed. So she left after a couple of replies. Alcohol does not change that fact. There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror It happens, in other words. I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. I was drunk, I kissed another guy and I'm so ashamed. I really love my Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. Wow! You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. And I have never cheated myself. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. 3 Ways to Keep Guilt From Ruining Your Relationships When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. What if they were married? Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. 3. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. I didnt tell him. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. Why stab your partner in the heart, just to see if the relationship will still survive? (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. Make lemonade out of them. I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. "and though he immediately pulled away". Remind her of your good points. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! JavaScript is disabled. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! He never says this so I knew it was something serious. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Seriously. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. See what she has to say. 07/12/2015 22:05. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. Should I ask him for gas money? You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Wouldn't you? ;-p I know it was wrong and I regret it all. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. Shes said thats it. (I wonder why.) Cheaters remorse. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. I was drunk but that is no excuse. Period. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman I was correct, she struggles with trust. You don't have control over these things. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). What? The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. Unforeseeable consequence. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. With the other woman just across the room! Well, that's all fairly laudible but I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. I agree. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. It's just a "good weekend?" I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. ;-) . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? I'm mortified. In essence . I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Okay. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. (y) What should I do. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. Why? And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Jam, your wife holds the cards. Most people would never confess that's the reality. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? And a stitch in time saves nine. You drank and you kissed. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. So what do you think? Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. He is my workmate also. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. I couldnt take it so I told him. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. Confesing to your husband was risky. (SK, that award doesn't exist. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. That's alright, that's a common mistake. Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. but all of a sudden I feel REALLY angry. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. drunk, kissing. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . Then you must be doing it wrong. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. You reap what you sow. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. He left and went to the lake. I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. female Can you tthan please explain this? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. Your guilt is your punishment. What am I going to do? Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. I'm so confused. female It was just a kiss. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . But living a lie would be so much worse. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. Add your answer to this question! 10 Do's And Don't's Of Dating Multiple People | Thought Catalog I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again.