Well, then stop her reading! ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE Harry Wormwood: MAN: Have you seen his school report? Sued by who? What can I do? See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Patience, my love. You can be all cynical, I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. MRS WORMWOOD As long as you dont know it with the volume up. Somewhere along the way, my dear, Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. I sold it for $1,158. CHILDREN ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. Or just a coincidence? MATILDA Her mind? And please don't say "the gym.". [on the phone, yells] MRS PHELPS She misses me so much. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. CHILDREN Just you wait for phys-ed. MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. . Bruce 'Little Brucey: Mrs. Wormwood: AMANDA MR WORMWOOD She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. MISS HONEY All right. MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. MRS WORMWOOD . Can you service me? The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. You're just wasting energy, green! MISS TRUNCHBULL Dinner time is family time. The scene changes to the library. Million $ Sticky Host: [to Michael] MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Million $ Sticky Host: Quite the contrary. In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. google_color_link="000000"; [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. There's not a lot of difference in size. RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Oh, yes. Sing, Jenny! These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. and astronauts! From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Is the first word . A few! [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. You just need to keep your feet inside the line. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. You wouldn't beat them in a race! The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. AAAAAAAHHHH! No. Who would be here to sign for the packages? . Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? School? It's not even eight thirty! YoU listen here, my dear, 1. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. What is this trash you're reading? Mine are driving me crazy. MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. Is it time for school yet, mum? Well I had to take a shower, Harry! He's going to blow. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Amanda Thripp: MRS WORMWOOD I sold it for $999. MISS HONEY 2. Oh, very rich. to the rules. No one is as handsome, strong as me. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] I didn't go to college. Trunchbull: A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. And that's not right. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. MATILDA One look at my face and it's plain to see. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. 2. Harry Wormwood: Then get out of town. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] And so, the great day arrived! Oh, parle Italiano? Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Her mind is incredible. . and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. You should read it. Boys and girls! She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. Miss Honey: And if it's not right, MRS PHELPS Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. . I'll be watching you, each and every one. MR WORMWOOD What are you waiting for? We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Young lady, where were you? Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. Useless, flamin' car! Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Now, can anyone read this? Well, this isn't my room at all! So, Matilda. BIG KID [BEN] MATILDA Lights up. Yes! [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. MATILDA In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Right. Yes. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? Thank you for suggesting it. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE A really strong stomach. MATILDA The alphabet? "tomato"? have you read a whole book? Harry Wormwood: Get the hell outta here! WOMAN: Smile for mummy! Zinnia Wormwood: . "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] The hat rack is taken away. They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. If you sit around and let them get on top, you 21. . Not even when the hammer left my hands Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! Agatha Trunchbull: BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. She has never seen a! The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Babies! Harry Wormwood: MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. See! I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Well, here I am. . [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] She holds up the final "10". Did I let myself go. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. Of course! . No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. CHILDREN Like hell! I got carried away. [insulted] Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. And now she's after me! Just because you find that life's not fair, it Agatha, This is Magnus. Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. She didn't know. Oh, my hair! Considerably roomier inside. RUDOLPHO Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Trunchbull: Don't tell me. //-->. [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] Just write. abilities. Cake. Oh, my head! MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. Michael: Apply just one simple rule 2. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. An exception. [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] <> BIG KIDS A fool? I think you've got something in your eye. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Meet Matilda. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. Matilda: . My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. Isn't there some more? Harry Wormwood: ACROBAT [off-stage] That's all right, Jenny. Your hair! Okay! Two times . I want to be in school. Are you smoking a cigarette? Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! His fingie. And . . MISS HONEY I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". [She turns the screens back on.]. What did you think? MRS WORMWOOD 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) - STYLECRAZE Matilda: We can spell "difficulty". Just knock on the door . Thirteen times two is twenty-six. You can adopt me. What a dear! Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Absolutely, sir! PDF Matilda Act 2 MATILDA THE MUSICAL [] BRUCE - Beck Backstage [yells] Ah-ah-aah-ah. This boy's got no fingie. MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. She stands paralyzed in fear. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Oh Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? Good heavens. . Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. Loud, loud, loud, loud! She holds the hat out to him. it isn't fair! BOTH: What a dear! Who you been talking to? . If you sit around and let them get on top, you Michael: Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. What is this, a hot tub party? Go on, then! You're being pathetic! MISS HONEY Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. Sell me a lemon? That's the bananas right there. MRS PHELPS Matilda: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, She taught us with a poem. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. Knock on the door, Jenny. . Lavender? A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Quite a long way, I think. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. [:g-] BRUCE I have all these extra. Chew your food; you're an animal! MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. 2 0 obj And you know where you'll end up? Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. LAVENDER I'll say! Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. I don't want any, thank you. I . You chose books - I chose looks. Zinnia Wormwood: [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. The desks descend into the ground. MR WORMWOOD The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Eleven times two is twenty-two. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. Matilda, 4 Years: There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. So, erm . This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. Did you hear what he said? He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. I'm the best! When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! Stand out from the crowd! 20. She laughs. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Past Alice. Dance competition's over. CHILDREN Just knock on the door. Before my happy days were over, MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. CHILDREN To the rules. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. You're only four years old. Am I . Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. MISS TRUNCHBULL All right! MR WORMWOOD I did not! CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. And even if you put in heaps of effort, Matilda: She found a small cottage. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". Matilda: 3 0 obj Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . There's more the second part. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? Agatha Trunchbull: What do I have to do to gain respect around here? BIG KIDS Mr. Wormwood: And always keep your feet inside the line! MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. Matilda: Matilda: [loses it, to Matilda] . . Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. That's right, sir. 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest Just go back to school! A party entertainer enters with balloons. I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. You should stay out of trouble "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." I love my school it isn't fair! Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? You seem to think that people like people what are clever. You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? The second one cost $512. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. . MR WORMWOOD What? You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. You're almost finished. Instead, she's found me. All right. Crowd! You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. ], MISS HONEY [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. Bruce Bogtrotter: The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Chocolate cake. She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. What are you looking at? . Every new life . MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. Ciao, Rudolpho. Yes, sir. BRUCE I have suffered in this jail. Yeah. Jenny: And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! How can I make up my own pickup line? ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Now sit up and look at the TV. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] And another door closes. She stops in triumph. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . [interrupting] Yep! I can be a soldier. This must confirm, Bruce, MISS HONEY Look, am I fat? Just because you find that life's not fair, it Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. . MRS WORMWOOD [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] I'll come back later, then. A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. MRS WORMWOOD Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Hide me! As me. And that's not right! Good show. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. All escapes start with the click of a lock. . Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! You shall be . But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. stream I can! They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! As long as you enjoyed the cake. A little less shh, a lot more schwing. Flashbulbs go off. MISS TRUNCHBULL One times two is two. 6. Did you see all those packages outside? You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. And if you want to make the team, I didn't do anything! She opens a book. Wonderful. Agatha Trunchbull: You've never set foot in a library. Matilda: Cover yourself in chocolate glory! The table stops and the hands hit the ground. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. [off to the side] [He laughs then peters out.] Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. . Miss Honey: I love your stories, Matilda! You really don't know anything, do you? . You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. Mrs. MISS TRUNCHBULL They're individual! [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Okay. "Bambinatum est magitum." I don't know. MISS HONEY Now go watch TV like a good kid. Matilda: Whether you like it or not. We're rehearsing. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! The Invisible Man . I didn't do anything! That's it! Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, MISS TRUNCHBULL "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Sing, children. In . But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! BIG KID [BEN] Trunchbull: And if you cry it will be double. Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, It's . The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Is your nickname glucose? Yes! . Check it if you don't believe me. Zinnia Wormwood: Wormwood! Mrs. Wormwood: They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. No one's going to listen if you don't shout. MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. DOCTOR MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Mr. Wormwood: You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. Harry Wormwood: AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. Above average is average. Keep out of reach of children. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. [to MATILDA] You! WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. . I didn't do it. Knock on the door, Jenny. Students: Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! Me, me, me, me. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: The more that you try, Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. 3. so I pick it up and - No! And therefore, she is guilty! 2. My daddy says I'm a bore. One look at my face and it's plain to see. MR WORMWOOD <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Matilda's been here all morning. I think they just fit. And remember to be extremely careful. Zinnia Wormwood: WOMAN: That's right, honey. [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] the Acrobat's sister. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. Bruce Bogtrotter: That was only the first part of your punishment. Ladies and gentlemen! . 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! A bell rings. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. They then saunter off. Green hair? You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Mr. Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA Oh, my lovely hair! so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . | MISS TRUNCHBULL I have the adoption papers. One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. FBI Agent Bob: Harry Wormwood: So you're Wormwood, are you? He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Just get on your feet, Jenny. [talks to the woman librarian] One should avoid confrontation when possible. Yeah! . And Jenny's outside. But if I try I can remeMber, The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. BIG KID [TAYLOR] FBI Agent Bill: Please! MISS TRUNCHBULL I might have known. I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! There's nothing to fear. Why don't you run away? If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! Trivia Look what you've done, you stupid woman. Matilda: LAVENDER What kind of society would that be? [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] Yes, your teacher. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Agatha Trunchbull: 75 Best Smooth Pick Up Lines - Use these to make her smile. - Mantelligence That's not right. My mummy says I'm a miracle. [wielding a hammer throw] guy . And yet every single life, Oh, let's put it this way. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. I mean, what else? He's fantastic! As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] I'm the best! Let out your belt. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. But time is the one thing no one is master of. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! My mummy says I'm a miracle. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. He got a C on his report! Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. Gloria Magitum! Cat in the Hat! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] AAAHH! My school is a model of discipline!