husband doesn t want to go on family vacation

seriously. My own brain is like that. Ideally, you and your husband would support each other in your careers, not have babyish meltdowns. Ive never been on these more dangerous trips, though I almost had to travel to Congo last year (it ended up falling through). They might feel left out or unimportant. But not the end of the world. Do NOT potentially sabotage your career over this, especially if you are the main breadwinner. Ive actually been there and I agree its overplayed and that corporate concerns are more about flights and conference rooms but its weird to act like youve never heard this stereotype. Certainly the OP needs to be careful with couselors. he needs to straighten hisstuffout. Sadly, that would be a culture that supports controlling behavior. This advice is enabling his negative behaviors. Ive lived in Vegas for over a decade and have attended many, many conferences here as well as in other cities. Wilberforce agrees with meeee!. The reality of the place is really NBD. My mother is like this about my neighborhood because Im miles away from Philadelphia. If something was going to happen to you, it could be anywhere. who believe the TV/movie depictions of the city and sort of forget that there are people who live there and work there, going about their everyday lives. And of course brains being not rational, could be a whole soup of something bad will happen which combines kidnapping, cheating, meeting someone else and Vegas-marrying them despite already being marriedregardless, I think OP should go on the trip. You can find prostitution and gambling in lots of cities, large and small, if youre looking for temptation. The idea of where we are in danger is terribly skewed in the US. Yeah, I had a boyfriend in college who Id started dating after being part of the same friend group as him for a long time. A little bit, mostly to servers who thought I might be lonely and often came over to chat while I was having dinner. We saw a fun show with impersonators of Sinatra, Dean Martin, Cher, etc and fun dancers. Go on your trip! Thanks for the partially chewed chili on my keyboard. Yeah, I hate having that thought, but that was exactly where my mind went he is freaking out because he thinks OP is going to do what he did. Remember, what happens in Vegas stays on YouTube forever. < accurate. Haha! I might go if it were for a show I wanted to see that I couldnt attend anywhere else, or if I had to go for work. Unlikely if its not part of her character, but certainly more possible than in Eerie, Pennsylvania. I go to Vegas twice a year for fun, and while you can get into the seedier side of it IF YOU WANT TO, its also very, VERY easy to not get into it all. I don't think it won't be that bad though. Can everyone please stop armchair diagnosing? Your level of trust in him. All of us can comment all we want about how innocuous this trip is, and how much of an overreaction this is, but it doesnt change the facts from where youre sitting. I am sitting in my car at the airport catching up on AAM before I get back to life and guess where I came from? husband doesn t want to go on family vacation He could show he loves you by treating you as an equal and making you know that your feelings, thoughts, and opinions matter. Its like he thinks Vegas exists in some parallel universe with different logic and laws of physical, and that upon landing in Vegas all of his wifes usual behavioral norms and all concern for her life beyond Vegas will simply evaporate. I think she was happier than I was when I got married because, in her words Mr. There is plenty to do in Las Vegas that has nothing to do with sin and can be done in any big city (restaurants, shopping, going to theater, etc.). He can express an opinion at most. My answer to the two questions asked in the original post are: No, you wouldn't be a terrible husband to go on a trip with a group without her. Yeah, there are definitely shady parts of Vegas, in the same way are in almost every city. If he doesnt trust you, and is otherwise not riddled with anxiety, whats causing that? My legs were killing me and I my throat was sore :(! The extent of our excitement is shopping at the outlets, maybe visiting Hershey and watching movies in our PJs. I dont even like Vegas and end up there twice a year because its such a common conference location because of the affordability. The other possibility is that hes skewing the hell out of the question somehow to make his stance seem more reasonable, like Would you guys be okay with your spouse taking off to Vegas and drinking and partying all weekend for work? This makes a lot of sense, and I think its a good strategy. There are plenty of restaurants and even the pickiest co-workers can settle on a dinner location. It doesnt take the anxiety away, but it seemed to dull some of the crazier bits. And my husband was completely fine with it. Speaking as someone whos wife spent 8 months of 10 days on site near Chicago, 4 days home over the last year after 8 years of her doing essentially no business travel, I know spouse separation anxiety far better than I care to both on my part, and my wife. She and I have spoken about it, in part because I travel without my husband a lot, including to family stuff. Yeah Im trying to tell myself this kind of misconception is the kindest possible explanation. I speak as someone whose husband is both a counselor and anxiety-sufferer. And shes the main provider in the family? I thought it was supposed to be would NEVER let their significant others go. Its the kind of autocorrect my phone makes; even/never. I personally hate Vegas, but I would never question the idea of sending a business trip there because its typically the cheapest place you can gather people from offices all over the continent. I resent our new hires for setting better work-life boundaries than our company normally has, hairy legs at work, my office sent me a random TV, and more, heres an example of a great cover letter with before and after versions, my employee cant handle even mildly negative feedback, my new coworker is putting fake mistakes in my work so she can tell our boss Im bad at my job, insensitive Diversity Day, how to fire someone who refuses to talk to us, and more, weekend open thread February 25-26, 2023, assistant became abusive when she wasnt invited to a meeting, my coworkers dont check on people who are out sick, and more. If all he has to go off of are the stereotypes in movies and advertising then I can definitely see how it would be easy for him to be a combination of jealous and insecure. apply jobappnetwork com elior; farmington, ct homes for sale by owner It was a realllllly boring upbringing. Yup, wholeheartedly agree. This is really weird and honestly, bordering on abusive (at the very least controlling). But itseems like they want totake things slowly. That may be an overreaction, but something clearly isnt working between you two, and he sounds emotionally abusive. Casinos are some of the most secure and highly monitored public places you can go. And then a few answers like well, I wouldnt exactly be happy and yes, Jane needs nine hours of sleep every night and Id really miss her can be heard as my friends wouldnt like it either. From there, LWs husband might turn even one joking Id tell her she had to stay home, they cant make her go into I asked my friends, and they wouldnt let their wives do that, and might not even realize that this wasnt what all of his friends thought or how their marriages work. He needs to manage his insecurities and not force them all on you and your career. Then we went to Hoover Dam on a tour. It doesnt have to be automatically a negative-value-weighted word (which is admittedly hard for me to do because of my own bad background with a controlling culture and religion) but on the flip-side, I think we should not give cultural differences veto power to prevent us from calling out specific and tally-able patterns of behaviors that some people see as personal red flags or interpersonal deal-breakers. Dont try totalk yourself into thinking that itdoesnt matter orthat they didnt mean anything byit. Yeah, there were some shady businesses. She keeps asking us (no matter how many times we decline) if we need her to buy us Amazon Fresh groceries. Bringing your spouse along on a work trip only works some of the time, and it definitely doesnt work if the spouse has already exhibited controlling behavior. We have friend who live in a neighborhood of Paris which Fox news publicized as a no go zone because of all those Muslims and Sharia Law and such. LW, my husband would be honestly fine with me going to Vegas. Id dump him. Never mind that this area was completely safe and middle-class; never mind that the apartment complex had 24-hour security; gated parking; never mind that this Mexican restaurant is not a whole in the wall, is regularly featured on Food Network, and is a regular spot for bringing out-of-town clients for virtually every company in our city. It is not normal or rational. I shut that down fast by reminding her I was working an evening shift that ended at 11 PM. And the Flamingo is fun because its what I imagine the trashy, gaudy old Vegas was like so when Im there I pretend Im like a mobsters wife or something. And ate a lot of food. You can drink and dance and play roulette in 43 of the 50 states. ), but she saw danger everywhere. Ive only been to Vegas twice. The touristy gloss. And dirt cheap which I am guessing is why so many business conferences are set at that location. I think that there can be a tendency in intimate relationships to prioritize keeping the peace, and emphasizing why thats a bad idea here and confirming that giving into the husbands demands and not going on the trip should be off the table is valuable coming from someone who gives advice about workplace stuff. He couldnt leave her in a peace for five minutes on her last business trip, and is questioning the companys motives, all while she is the primary breadwinner? Im not superstitious, so I was aware that it was completely bogus that my fears concentrated on that fact, but they nonetheless did. Does he worry about you when you go shopping alone, or when you work late at the office? Embarrassing Family Photos Make It Hard To Look Away FYI: I mean crazy in a flippant sense not as an insult to any mental health issue. Yes its a confusing sentence but I believe the OP comments elsewhere that she wrote what she meant, the people her husband polled WOULD allow their significant others to go. Its just worth knowing that having a long list of good traits doesnt mean you arent in a problematic relationship, or that you cant choose nope for your own emotional health. If you stay around the main touristy areas especially on the Strip there is security EVERYWHERE. Good points. Of course shes going to say IM the one with a problem. Im betting its either a case of asking leading questions, an over-reporting of the amount of agreement received, or hearing more agreement than was actually being expressed on the part of OPs husband. In *that* sense, I think there can be a legit question about when you can gracefully bow out of a work trip, and when you have to stick it out and go. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. its really funny, because Vegas has lately been billed as a great place to go for a family vacation! with his friends, not you. The husband is acting like a jerk and the OP needs to figure out whether this is something/someone she can live with and whether he is capable of improving. I cant speak for anyone but IMHO a little travel, twice a year or so is fine and take your spouse if you can but this several overnights monthly is not what I signed up for. I suspect he asked a leading question, something like My wifes company wants to send her to Vegas with a bunch of single guys who like to stay up late drinking. And he, I think, talked that out with a therapist eventually. (Be prepared to be as fair-minded when it is your . But yes, OP, this does smell of jealousy. Thats another reason to put off discussions the information just wont register with him while hes anxious. Life is short. From so many comments above, what people are missing here is that none of us knows whether the LWs husband is an anxiety sufferer or a control freak. Im curious if your husband is perhaps someone who has never really traveled anywhere, and the whole prospect of travel gets his anxiety going?

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